001: Yes, No, Maybe So

I started querying agents this month. It has been the most exhilarating, exhausting, uplifting, humbling experiences. On any given day, I will receive an email saying, “thanks for the query but your project isn’t for me” and then five minutes later, right after I have sworn off all forms of writing including that grocery list that I need for the weekend, I will receive another email that says, “thanks for the query, please send over your full manuscript”.

I get it. Rejection is part of this process. It’s a huge part of this process. I have to keep reminding myself that every author I have ever loved was rejected at some point by someone (except Jane Austen, I can’t imagine anyone rejecting her…). And that’s OK. My book isn’t for everyone. I know that. And that’s OK. It’s OK…we’re all OK.

But then, I pause for a moment and realize that my manuscript, my ideas that I turned into words on a page, this world that I built entirely in my imagination and then spent hours, and days, and weeks pouring out onto page after page, my novel is sitting on a desk of an actual agent in New York City. Someone read my query letter and thought that I was onto something so much that they wanted to read my words.

To be honest, I still can’t wrap my mind around that. And I know that the road ahead is still very long. There is no guarantee that this particular agent will like what I wrote. I could get nothing but rejections from here on out. I could get an agent and no publisher. I could get a publisher and no readers. I could…I could…I could…

The temptation to look on the doom and gloom, to see nothing but obstacles in my way, is so strong. But for now, I’m going to just picture my book, sitting on a desk, maybe next to a cup of coffee, and relish the fact that someone else is going to become immersed in a world that I created and somehow translated into a whole book. I think I will do that over my own cup of coffee…